You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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