you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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