if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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