I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
