So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
