I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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