I just pynch a tree in the face
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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