matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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