This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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