Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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