I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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