Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize