Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
