the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
one might say we're banned from that church
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
