I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize