So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
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Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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