Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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