Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
