Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
