So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
