Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
