Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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