hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You ruined the universe
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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