the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
