Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
