Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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