It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
