btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
