More tranny stories later!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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