you're like a bully in the Christmas story
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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