guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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