I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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