Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
