This is not my ceiling
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
