Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
