just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
