On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
this will be a night to untag.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
