We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Couch. On fire.
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