ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
