What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
