And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
