her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
