Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
