JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
