is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
