I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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