there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
