Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
