I just saw a hot homeless man
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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