I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
