so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
