Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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