Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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