I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
