Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
