I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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