Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
