Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
