i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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