it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
