Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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